My First {Official} Post

Hello everyone!

Welcome to my new blog. I have transferred all of my Caring Bridge posts to this site so that they will be easily accessible as well.

I have two main goals for this site. We have friends and family all over the US (and some in Europe too!) so this is the easiest way to keep everyone updated on my progress all at once. My other hope in starting this site is that eventually it will be found by other breast cancer patients. I cannot even begin to tell you how much I have been helped by reading other breast cancer and chemotherapy blogs, so I hope that this is my little way of paying it forward. I can read research articles and talk to health care professionals all day long, but when it comes to knowing what to expect after surgery and during chemotherapy there is nothing like hearing it straight from someone who has been there.

I will be straightforward with you...I plan to be very open and honest here. Everyone keeps telling me how strong I have been, and I am really trying my best to stay upbeat and positive.

I start chemo soon, and I make no promises that I can continue that.

I want to make this a very real account of what I am going through, and I have no illusions that it will be easy, or pretty. Most of you will never see it, but every once in a while I do cry. And get angry. And wonder "why me". I have a feeling those moments will become more and more frequent once treatment starts and I'm feeling miserable. That being said, those moments will be just as much a part of this journey as the happy and positive ones, so be prepared for everything.

Along with posting about my treatments I also plan to throw in some posts about the new lifestyle I am choosing to live (low-fat diet, alcohol free, more organic foods and natural products). When I post about these topics please do not feel that I am preaching to you (and someone PLEASE tell me if I come across that way). My only goal for these posts will be to give you insight into why I am choosing this lifestyle, not to convert anyone else.

Now for an actual update...

Remember that last update I posted where I said I was feeling great after my first fill of the tissue expanders? Well I wasn't feeling so great the next morning. I felt like I regressed by about a week in terms of my pain and discomfort. That also happened to be my first morning back at work which made things a little more interesting. I was able to tolerate the pain with Naproxen during work but took a Vicodin and a nap as soon as I was done. Fortunately the pain only persisted for the day and by Friday I was feeling back to normal. I was definitely ready for naps after both mornings of work, but am happy to say I haven't needed one since then. Today at work I felt much more like myself and was able to move around much easier than last week. I am still not doing any bigger procedures for the rest of the week but everything else is very doable for me.

I am back to exercising very regularly and am up to almost an hour each night (please don't freak out mom...it's not nearly at the level I was before surgery)! My biggest problem right now is honestly sleep. Last week I couldn't seem to fall asleep, but lately my body has just decided to nap for a few hours and then spend the rest of the night awake or sleeping very lightly. So far this has just been more frustrating than anything else, as I haven't really noticed any fatigue during the day. I do take various different medications for sleep occasionally, but I really don't want to become dependent on them (which I know I will).

I have an appointment with my oncologist on Wednesday, and I will be THAT patient that pulls out a page long list of questions. My biggest concerns right now are how many cycles I will need and how to best manage the side effects so that I can work as much as possible (not just for monetary reasons...I actually love my job).

Friday afternoon will be my next fill of the tissue expanders. This time I will be a little more prepared and pre-medicated for the pain I'm sure I will have on Saturday.

I want to leave you with a quote that I found while reading another breast cancer blog. It is so simple, yet it hit me incredibly hard. I say it my head over and over each day and it is now my new mantra for this journey.

"Live the life you're fighting for" - Leslie Moore