On Monday afternoon I went back to the clinic for my Neulasta injection. This is a very expensive medication (thank you insurance company for covering it at 100%) that will help keep my white blood cell count up. Not everyone needs to get this after each chemo cycle, but since I am continuing to work through treatment (and since I work in healthcare) my oncologist wants me to get it each time. The medication works by stimulating the bone marrow to produce more white cells, so one of the main side effects is bone and joint pain. It started for me right away on Monday night, but Tuesday morning it felt like I was hit by a truck. I was incredibly achy and fatigued (which I thought was chemo fatigue starting but it was just another side effect of the injection). Work on Tuesday morning was quite tough, but by the afternoon things started to get better. We have already adjusted my schedule slightly for the day after each injection for the remainder of my treatments.
*Warning...the following might be TMI for some people, but I promised I was going to be honest*
One side effect I was expecting was constipation related to all of the anti-nausea medications I was taking last weekend. I have actually developed the very opposite and have had diarrhea since Monday. I knew this was a potential side effect as well, but had no idea that the Taxotere would literally destroy my GI system. I had a very scary episode yesterday morning when my stool was black and tarry (a sign of bleeding higher up in the gastrointestinal tract). Since I was at work when it happened I did a hemoccult test on myself (a test that checks for blood in the stool) and it came back positive. I called my oncologist and they told me to start taking Immodium and have my blood count drawn at my clinic and faxed to them. Luckily I only had two episodes and it seems to have resolved now (the bleeding, not the diarrhea). Overall my blood counts are not too bad, but my platelets have already dropped to below normal limits.
Along with the diarrhea I have developed terrible stomach cramps. These seem to be the worst in the late afternoon and early evening, and also sometimes in the middle of the night. Today I developed thrush (a fungal infection in the mouth) and also some mouth sores. All of this combined with the fact that no food sounds appetizing has created a 3 1/2 pound weight loss since Monday (I have lost a total of 12 pounds since my diagnosis). I have really been trying hard to follow a very healthy, low fat diet since my diagnosis but right now that has all gone out the window. Eating is very difficult but I am forcing myself to do it, and trying to eat foods that are higher in calories and protein. I have started to "drink" more of my meals by making a smoothie with frozen bananas, greek yogurt, peanut butter, almond milk and ground flaxseed.
These past few days have been very difficult both physically and emotionally. I am trying to take advantage of any moments when I actually feel "good". I have a follow-up appointment and labs again tomorrow afternoon which I am looking forward to. The fatigue from the Neulasta has worn off and the true chemo fatigue hasn't hit me yet, but I have a feeling it will start soon. The only other side effects I have developed are dry skin (especially my hands) and acne, but that one is actually related to my IUD.
This weekend promises to be emotional again, as I am planning to pick out a wig and shave my head (pictures to come next week). I have certainly had my share of pity parties in the past few days, but I am trying to just take things minute by minute and hour by hour. I just have to keep hoping that along with the healthy cells dying there are cancer cells dying as well.
"The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it." - C. C. Scott
We love you Aimee!!
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